My Initiation

I have often thought of what it would be like to be a mom.  I have watched many of my friends in action as moms and a lot of the times I would be like "thank God I am not having to deal with that!". Welllll my time has come.... I feel like I have earned a beginner badge and my initiation into motherhood has began.  Here are a few things that I have experienced:

• About 3 days after getting Jada I was on my way to church and I suddenly slammed on brakes.... I had to look down my shirt to make sure I put a bra on.  Due to complete exhaustion it would not have surprised me one bit if when I had looked that I would have been "bare".

• I have actually took my thumb and index finger and pinched a wod of snot from your lip.  My gah!!!.... I feel like I have an outer body experience when I do it.  And I have no idea what to do with it once I pinch it.  I just panic and start flinging.  Admit mamas.... you have done this when bib, rag, tissue or wipe has not been present.

• Josh and I were waiting for a table at a restaurant... I just kept getting a woof of this stank!  We finished our dinner and went to the big ol Wal Mart... there I realized what the stank was.... THROW UP! It was all down the back of my arm. Thanks babe...thanks for looking out for me.

• Gagging reflexes have went into full swing.  I am not big on smells.  Right after getting her and for at least 2-3 more months she would drop these chili bombs! I mean fill a diaper full of it.  Looked like a complete explosion went off.  And rank!!!... geeze it was rough. 

• Checking diapers.... this is tricky! One must always be prepared for the worst.  I feel like I need to put on gloves and a mask to check the diaper if I get a whiff of funk when she walks by.  I have went to check a diaper and come out with a completely different colored finger. Gag a maggot!! That is another one of those times where I just cant get it off fast enough.  I feel like Ace Ventura when he runs out of the bat cave in "When Nature Calls".

• I have picked up many of dog poop in my day... but she laid us a little loaf on the floor one day.  Just a pile of human feces on my floor.  She was pretty proud of herself.

• Jada does not sleep with us unless she is sick.  She prefers her bed.  She should have a black belt in kung fu.  I have been peed on,  karate chopped, kicked, head butted, slapped and punched.  It is like she becomes possessed by Laila Ali when she enters my bed.

• I can turn nocturnal.... when she is sick I do not sleep!! Mostly for the reasons I just listed but I cant sleep when she coughs so much she chokes.  I have laid awake many nights just waiting to pat her on the back to help her get that mess out of her chest. 

• I have went to go in to give her a kiss..... and a big ol sneeze happens which results in snot on my mouth!!! Yuck!

• Our going out to eat has decreased to almost non-existent.  It is just not worth the hassle.  Again, something takes over her body and she is like "oh, you want to have a nice calm dinner?...not gonna happen folks".  Her behaviour makes me want to order the stiffest drink they can make.  I have this intense feeling to light a fire in the waiters tail and make him/her move just a bit faster.  The faster you get my food the more your tip is going to be.... I PROMISE!

• I find that our television stays on some type of  Disney channel majority of the time. I have actually caught myself sitting down and watching it when she isn't even around.  Felt like a complete psycho.

• Right after we got her I lost a lil weight.  I was so exhausted.... I only had 3 days off from work and I was allowed to work till 2:30 for 2 weeks.  Soooo I was a bit of an emotional basket case.  One night my sis in law so kindly brought over food for me (josh was out of town).... as she was entertaining Jada I literally snuck into a corner and ate that bowl of jambalaya like a Holocaust refugee. I was starving!! But I was always so tired to cook a big meal for us so I would just make sure Jada had dinner and I would do without.  I would rather sleep.  So folks if someone you know has just had a baby.... go cook them a meal, fold their clothes, maybe give them a B12 injection, wash their dishes, etc.  It makes a huge difference and allows the parentals to rest... or in my case EAT.

I have enjoyed this journey so much and I would not trade it for anything or any amount of money in this world!  Josh and I did not have nine months to prepare.... we had a split second.  We do the best we can and make the most out of each moment.  I like things a certain way with her and if one does not like it.... well I hate it. It's just the way it is and is going to be.  I have slacked up a lot and opened my wings to let her look out a bit more. But she is my special baby, my first and I am very protective of her and I will not apologize for that. 

To all you moms out there.... I salute you!

You Call Him Da Da....

Jada,
As I said in the last letter to you, you and your Da Da are amazing together.  I have known your daddy for almost 16 years.  He was and still is the love of my life.  I love him as much as I love you but in a completely different way.  I did not think I could love that guy anymore than I already did but I was wrong.... I watch him with you and my heart melts and I fall in love with him all over again.

When you were just a picture on our phone we would talk about you constantly.  We laid in bed countless nights and talked about you.  We sent the same pics of you via text back and forth to one another countless times.  You were on our minds constantly.  Your daddy would say that he loved you so much already and that he would do whatever he had to do to get you where you needed to be and he meant it.

I always knew that daddy would be a good daddy.... but he surpasses that.... he is an amazing father to you.  It is not about getting you anything you want, although you do, it is about the love and one on one time he gives you.  He is so proud of you.  He talks about you literally all day.  You are what consumes our days.  Anything we do now, we think of you and how it affects you.  He is not in this huge rush for you to get "big" so he can take you places..... he bonds with you now!  He knows that hunting, riding, racing and farming will come with time.  He doesn't expect that you will love all of those things.  He just enjoys you and what your age brings right now. He helps me with you oh so much.  I don't have to ask him for much bc he usually already has it done or is doing it. He just dove into this parenthood stuff.  He changes PEE PEE diapers... ONLY (he he he), gives you a bath, cooks supper for us, gets you dressed, puts you to bed, fixes your juice, goes with me to the Dr. with you, gets up to give you breathing treatments in the middle of the night bc i am absolutely exhausted, consoles you, plays tea party with you, watches cartoons with you, does the hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog dance with you, and pretty much whatever else you want or needs to be done.

Mornings are y'alls thing.  He has a way with you in the mornings.  That is y'alls special time.  You do not fret with him one bit.... with me....you give me HECK!  This is yours and his routine:  Gets you out of bed, fixes your juice, turn on cartoons while changing your diaper, sit for about 20-30 minutes and watch cartoons, gets you dressed and wait for me to finish getting dressed. That routine makes you super happy and when you do not get it it's rough for all involved.

You are one lucky girl, Jada.  You have no idea, right now, how lucky you are.  You love him so much.  I can see it in your pretty blue eyes when you look at him.  You miss him when he's gone and ask about him every minute.  "Want Da Da" is what you say constantly.  I pick you up from Tiny's and you immediately start asking about him.  You know his vehicle and get excited when we pull in the drive way and it's there. You are much more affectionate with da da than you are me when we are all together.  I get loving when he's gone but if he is home..... I am chopped liver. I do not mind though. The other night when he got home from being gone for a few days.... you wanted him to pick you up and you just stared into his eyes.  You would just stare and smile. You also put your little hand on his face and just rubbed his cheek and smiled.  COMPLETE melting of the heart.  You will just sit in his lap and wallow all over him and kiss and love.  Which is right up his alley bc he is super affectionate.  He has no problem telling you that you are beautiful and that he loves you oh so much.  You will learn to appreciate that one day.

There are so many more stories of the two of you but I will save for a later time.....I put some pics below of you and him. Yall are buds and mean the world to one another. And I love you both more than I could ever explain.  It cannot be put into words.  I look at you two together and my eyes swell with tears bc you both make me the happiest girl in the world.  You are super special to us both.  You have shown us a whole new world.  And I hope no one ever tries to tell us that bc you are not biologically ours that we have missed something..... BC I MIGHT WIND UP IN THE JAILHOUSE TIMES!

I love you,
Mama

Mean Muggin

Being Silly

He will do whatever you want to do

First time to get out at your new home.... and he insisted on getting you out

Waking up for the first time in your new home..... da da had to get morning loving

First time at Davids.... he had to show you off

Anything to make me pee my pants

You cheered him on for literally an hour

Morning time!

You, Da Da and Bank Bank

Dear Jada,

Dear Jada,
Oh baby girl where do I begin?  You have brought our family so much joy and happiness.  I never knew that I could love something in a way that I do you.  You have been with us now for  four months.  It seems like it has been forever.  I do not remember life before October 24th.  Literally, I don't.  You are so beautiful....like the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.  Your beaver teeth are adorable.  Speaking of teeth, you now have a mouth full!  Your canines have come in completely and we are working on four pre-molars in the back.... You have the drool to prove it! Your hair has grown so much...it has gotten so thick in the back and the top is getting there.  I can pull the back up in the cutest pony tail ever and I can make a twig stand up on top.  I love to put bows in your hair but you can pull one out in a heartbeat.  But that is ok I have learned to choose my battles.  You came to us saying "Mama" and "Sissy".  You can put together 2-3 word sentences. Here is a list of words you say regularly and I am sure I will forget some (you can repeat ANYTHING):

1. Mama
2. Dada
3. Pap
4. Papa
5. Gram
6. Tom
7. Nana
8. Ni Ni
9. Sissy
10. Bubba
11. Juice
12. Cup
13. Tick Tick (Trixie aka Trick Trick)
14. Moooooo
15. Tank Chew (Thank You)
16. Peeese (please)
17. Hi
18. Bye
19. Hey
20. Bit Bit (Britt Britt)
21. Bank Bank (blanket)
22. Moan (come on)
23. Uhh Ehh (no)
24. Sit
25. Chair
26. Eye
27. Nose
28. Toot Toot (hee hee hee)
29. Poo Poo
30. Bite
31.  Mine
32. Cupcake
33. Hair
34. Chip
35. Truck
36. Big truck 
37. Ride
38. Stop
39. Ni Nee (Tiny)
40. Papaw (Greg)
41. Buck
42. Uh Oh

Your family is absolutely infatuated by you.  There is not enough Jada to go around.  Everyone wants to pick you or have you spend the night.  Sometimes I feel guilty for letting you go but then me and da da really need some time together.  And I know that everyone loves to spend time with you and you with them as well.  We all sit around and laugh at any little thing you do. 

You are so flipping sassy right now! You tell us "uh eh" and "no" a lot.  BUT you do get in big trouble for it. I do not want you to be "that kid" that people dread to see coming because you are a super brat.  I want you to be nice to everyone.  In saying that, I do want you to be able to take up and defend yourself though.  Don't ever be a push over but always be respectful.  

I bought you a potty yesterday.  I almost cried while putting it in the buggy! You can tell me when you know you have done it in your diaper so I figured I might as well get a potty.  You also laid us a loaf on the floor the other night.  It was my first human turd to pick up off the floor.  You also pooped in the tub while Gram was here.  I put it in the bathroom before you came home.  I just wanted to see what you would do or if you would even notice it.  YOU DID!... of course you nosey thing.  You knew to sit on it.  So we did so....many times.  I will not force it on you...it's there for when you're interested. 

You love shoes! You love to pull every pair out of your closet and bring them in the living room for all to see and put on.  Your favorite pair are your yellow rubber boots.  Your Pap loves that you love your rubber boots.  He said he insist on buying you your first pair of real cowgirl boots when he comes home.  BTW I now know how to get anything from ol goat... just say you need it and it's done or bought! You will wear any outfit I put on you. You can rock some super lazy clothes as well as the cutest little boutique outfit.  I love you in anything.  My favorite is you dressed up to go outside and get dirty.  You are just the cutest with that rank outside smell, sticky hands, face and chest from a good ol dum dum sucker, and grass in your hair from rolling around in the yard. We had a picnic the other day and you absolutely loved it.  You would go ride your 4-Wheeler for a bit and then come lay with me on the blanket.   I cannot wait until summer. 

I recently went back to work at my old job.  On one hand it was a hard decision but on the other it was super easy.  The hard part was that I really loved my job the easy part was I loved my boss and job from my old job and it would only be part time.  I already knew how everything was ran at my old job and I just couldn't pass up the hours.  I wanted to spend my days with you.  I did not like rushing to get there before 7:50 every morning and not leaving till 5:30 every evening.  I missed you everyday.  One late evening I almost cried out in the parking lot bc I was going to be late picking you up and I knew that when I walked through the doors at Tiny's you would be the only one still sitting there, like always. Even though I have plenty of people that would help me with you, it is not there responsibility. It is mine and you are mine.  We waited so long for you and I just don't want to miss one minute. SO me and you girlfriend have breakfast together in the mornings and my
afternoons are spent with you.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I made the right decision. 

Speaking of waiting so long for you......sweetheart you just could not be anymore perfect.  Like I love you! Da Da loves you!  You two are so amazing with one another.  I know that we were not there to see you take your first breath, first smile, first bath, first word, first tooth, first crawl, first step or any of your first holidays.... But you can rest assure that we are here for everything else from October 24, 2013 on.  You will never want for anything.  Our focus is making sure you are well taken care of and have parents that love you and will do anything for you.  We will keep you out of danger and make sure you never know what it is like to live in pure hell.  You have a bed....it's the same bed you sleep in every night.  You are not shuffled from place to place, eating who knows what, breathing in meth or weed and being exposed to things no kid/child should be exposed to. 

You and Da Da are a pair I tell ya!  You love him oh so much.  You love to watch and listen to him play his guitar.  You love to watch him perform (blog coming for this).  You will give him sugar many times more than you will me.  A lot of people say you favor him.  And you do....it's kind of funny.  It's something about your eyes and you definitely have full lips like he does.  You both have round heads and puffy cheeks. Every morning he is home you two pile up on the couch or recliner and yall "wake up".  He gets up and fixes your juice.  You, him, bank bank, and juice watch tv.  He gets you dressed while I am getting dressed.  He is such a big help to Ma Ma.  I don't know what I would do without him.  I am very lucky and so are you.

I just wanted to write to you and let you know what you have been up to.  I love you Jada Bug!  There isn't anything like you.  You literally light up a room when you walk in and say "Hey".  You are the talk of our little community.  I have people daily come up to me and/or message me to tell me how happy they are for us and you.  You are loved by many. 

Love,
Ma Ma