Isn't She Lovely??

WHEW! Boy has life changed for our home!  I know that for a lot of people that are reading this when we posted our new family photo on Facebook that was the first some had heard about a newest addition.  October 24,2013 is a day I will NEVER forget.  At approximately 2:45p.m I was balling on Josh's shoulder in front of the Judge, our lawyer, court reporter and the defendants to my right.  We were quickly shuffled through the Judge's chambers because the bailiff did not feel it was safe for Josh and I to exit through the "normal" doors.  All they knew was that there was a lot of hollering and shouting going on and they thought it was against us... I remember saying "Oh no sir, that is just our crazy family. We will be OK." We walk out of the doors and I could not find my Mama's eyes fast enough.  We all hugged, kissed, cried, hollered, and tried to gain our composure.  It was all so surreal to me.  All I could think about was at 5 o'clock that evening Josh and I would be on our way to the Sandersville Police Dept to pick up a little girl that we had been consumed with since July 9, 2013.

These were the first pictures we saw of her. We looked at them a thousand times everyday.  

Let's back up to Tuesday, July 9,2013. Just a little FYI I will not disclose names nor certain specific details concerning this.  BM = Biological Mother and BF = Biological Father.  I was on my lunch break and had went into Kux.  I had been looking at this ridiculously huge ring set.  It was so not me but none the less I had took a picture of it and sent it to Josh.  He, of course, said "get it if you want it." I got in my car and was headed to Subway when my phone rang.  After that phone call I was in the middle of the Piggly Wiggly parking lot and not remembering how I got there.  Josh and I have gotten a couple of calls in the past regarding possible adopting but they just never seemed right and we just could not get nsync with one another about it.  I immediately called my mom.  I just cried and cried. I was absolutely terrified to tell Josh.  I was terrified because it seemed so perfect and I knew what his first reaction would be. Josh is a realist and takes everything into consideration.  He researches everything and wants to know every detail.  I was not able to provide him with much because I did not know a lot myself.  The call I got was very emotional.... it was emotional because this precious baby at stake is my 2nd cousin and it was my aunt that called me.  Josh was, of course, out of town that day so I think I sent him a text.  We went back and forth, I cried a lot, we had some disagreements, agreed on some dangers that were at stake, oooed and ahhhed over her cuteness and how much she looked like her BF.  Once we agreed that we were going to hold hands and dive into this together we began digging up all the info we could and seeing how many people we knew that could navigate us through this. Again, not going into detail but the BF did not have custody of the child and the BM had gotten into a situation that caused her to lose the child in April.  The child was being "raised" by a guardian.  Due to a time frame that was set when the baby gotten taken in April the BF was very afraid that he would lose his daughter to complete strangers and never get to see her EVER again. 

After trying to go at this situation one angle we decided to that we would bow up and contact the BM.  We took her to dinner and it all began from there. Again, I am not going into any details but let me just say I have seen more "stuff" and been around more people that I would never put myself around in my "normal" life.  I have become very educated on the world and amazed at the stuff that goes on all around us. It's sad and scary all at the same time.  Growing up my parents kept me away from such situations and I am very sheltered when it comes to the "street life".  All I could think about was that baby girl.  When I would be sitting in my car waiting to pick up the BM from certain places I was like a cat on a hot tin roof.  I was a nervous wreck on the inside. But I would just put on my poker face and roll with it.  I would pull out my phone and just look at her pictures and reassure myself that it was all going to be ok and that God was with me and he would protect me. 

This went on for almost three months.  I prayed everyday, several times a day.  I was always on my guard and pretty much turned into a hermit.  I was emotionally drained every single day.  I never knew what email was going to come through or what text message I might get.  I pretty much withdrew from society bc my nerves were just awful.  I know I became a horrible friend ( sorry gals :) ).  Telling a lot of people was a catch 22 for me.  I knew that we needed all of the prayers and support that we could get but I am also semi private.  I just asked God to lay it on people's hearts to pray for us even if they did not know why.  I cannot stand negativity when I am stressed.  And there are a lot of Debbie downers out there. So for the sake of not snapping on them and losing my religion on them I just chose to tell a few. 

On August 18th we had papers served to the "guardian" of the child.  By doing that we knew we would have to go to court.  Our first court date was October 7th..... the day after my 30th bday.  My bday weekend was amazing but as much fun as it was I still had Monday on my mind.  Josh and I knew that the BM had changed her mind.  So that Monday came and in front of the Judge she let us all know that she had changed her mind.  Luckily, we already knew this and had done our research and kept our ears open for the past three months.  We took action and made some request to the Judge.  He followed through with them and it paid off.  We got some pretty amazing news on October 16th.  News that changed the entire course of everything. Josh was in Washington DC when our lawyer called me with the news.  I called Josh immediately and was just crying my eyes out.  We were so excited and in disbelief.  I just kept telling my lawyer on the phone "I cannot believe this! Josh and I just don't get these kinds of breaks!!".  We were going to push for an emergency hearing but decided to wait because we already had  a trial date set for October 24th.  The 23rd came and I was pretty much in a blur that whole day.  Mom and Mamaw came to stay with us.  We got up that morning and headed out.  We thought we were the first trial that morning but an emergency hearing had been ordered for another case so we had to wait.  At 1:00 it was time for a lunch break and that trial was still going on. It lasted till a bit after 2:00.  THEN it was our time to go.  Everyone had to leave the court room. No family or friends could stay.  Just the plaintiffs and defendants.  I was literally shaking so hard.  I had to stick my hands in between my legs to make them stop shaking.  After the Judge reviewed the case and heard the testimonies (he did not make josh and I get up on the stand) he made his decision.  It seemed like it took him 30 minutes to get it out of his mouth....."....... but here are two people who are able to take care of this child.....".  And my eye make up was history!  He gave an order to go pick her up at the police dept that evening.  I could not believe it!

Cannot Thank this Man enough!

 

My best friend and soul mate!

We all flew to the house, changed our clothes and began to pick up and clean.  Josh strapped in the car seat and off we went.  We had a vehicle follow us because we did not know what to expect and how dangerous it would get.  We pulled in and got out.... there was a lot of hollering coming from the other vehicle.  I told Josh to lets just go get a cop to come out so we would have a witness and supervision of the situation.  The hand off of that ANGEL was amazing.  I remember them handing her to me and she looked at me, kissed me in the mouth (snot and all) and laid her head on my shoulder.  Keep in mind I have never physically laid eyes on her and her the same for me.  We hurriedly got in the car and off we went. 

Everyone ask how she adjusted and how she did her first night. Sister girl rocked it! She literally never missed a beat.  She rode home playing with shades and a cell phone.  We walked in to a lot of people in our house and she walked in like she owned the place.  We had toys, cake and love waiting on her.  She played and played and we laughed at every move she made.  She went to sleep around 9:30 and slept till 7:30.  Since then she hasn't looked back.  I am "Mama" and Josh is "Da da or Daddddy".  She has a Gram, Tom Tom, Pap, Papa, Nana, Aunt Ni Ni, Sissy (Lexi), Bubba (Logan) and Uncle Warren.  She has called me Mama from the day 1.  We are all absolutely smitten by her. She gets pretty much whatever she wants whenever she wants.  Josh is amazing with her and she loves him so much.  Josh is and has always been a very affectionate person so they are cuddle buddies. She thinks he is hilarious. 

We want to thank everyone for the text, gifts, showers, words of encouragement, and mostly your prayers.  Josh looked at me one day and said I never knew I could love something so quick and it not be biologically mine.  Our home has changed so much and we have received the best gift ever.  God was so watching over us the whole time and HE opened every door! Y'all just don't know! I get chills and my eyes water up when I think about it.  He knew exactly what He was doing.  I am so very thankful for unanswered prayers.  I prayed so hard for so long for a him to give me a child that I could carry in my body. Little did I know he had something so much more perfect set a side for us.  His timing is best and his way will always conquer our ways and wants.   

Don't believe in the power of prayer? - Read above
Don't believe in God? - Read above
Don't believe in Faith? - Read above
Don't think God always has your best interest? - Read above
Don't think God always knows what He is doing?- Read above


There will be many more post to come.  I want to document everything bc she is such a busy body and I do not want to forget the milestones and memories of our ANGEL, Jada. 

With Love,
Josh, Amber and Jada

A True Love Story

At Journey, my church, about 100 people signed up to take basic training classes.  These classes are designed to equip Christians to be able to go out and easily tell their story, start devotional groups and even start a church if they felt led to do so.  I was  apprehensive at first.  It is a 6 week long class that meets once a week.  My class of about 10 people meet on Wednesday nights.  I had already gotten some inside info from a friend on what the first assignment was going to be.  I went into a full scale panic when I heard what it was.  It was that we would have 10 minutes to write our story and then we would partner up with someone other that our spouses and practice telling our story to them and visa versa.  I, sadly, had to rack my brain for my story.  I knew about when I was "saved" and I knew that my dunking date was in a purple Bible some where around my house.  I went on a rant to find it.  See, I am very good with remembering numbers.  It is quite weird at the dates and numbers that I remember.  So not remembering either one of those dates completely freaked me out.  Going in to the first class I had some what of a story lined out in my mind.  The class was only 2hrs long and I would make a point to get Nikki Garcia to be my partner so surely it wouldn't be that bad. Well it was torture... just to be honest.  I scribbled on the paper the beginning of a some what story of my salvation and before I knew it the 10 minutes was up.  Nikki and I put our desk together and began to talk and share stories.  I knew she was having a very hard day bc the 1 year mark of her mother's death was slowing creeping up.  So I just rambled through my story and wanted to listen to her.  I told her "I will just tell you my story later".  The class rocked on and I went every time kicking and screaming. I did not want to go back after the first night but I did not want to disappoint Bro. Robby.  So I grudgingly went.  I didn't think too much about it after I walked out of the door of that class till the next week came along.  One of the other assignments was to go tell our story to 5 people... UM negative for this girl! I did not tell anyone!... I just complained about the assignment to about 5 people.  Finally, we finished the class and next E3 was to come.  It was a big talk around our church and everyone was getting excited, nervous (about the 15 days of duties that had to be filled), and apprehensive.  I was, honestly, not that excited.  I mean what in the world??....15 days??.... I have to work everyday from 8-5... pahlease.

E3 started Monday, March 18, 2013 and we went.  I had already told Josh that we would go on Monday, Wednesday & Saturday of that week.  Monday was great! Justin Walters opened up with a very get up and move song and got everyone PUMPED.  Preaching came and I remember him reading a not so pleasant verses over and over again!  I mean he read it a million times and it made me quite uncomfortable.  He had actually preached a sermon around this verse a time before but it was on a Sunday and he only read it a couple of times.  I remember him saying before he read them that these were quite "bothersome" verses.  And bothersome they were! The verses were Matthew 7:21-23. Jesus said, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. (22) Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' (23) Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'  Bro. Robby began to "break it down" for us, like he always does.  He kind of paraphrased it like it would be something that we would say.  I am going to use what I would put in there... Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord did I not attend church almost every time the doors were open, did I not fill up an abundant amount of shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child, did I not give to the poor, did I not take Christmas gifts to lonely widows of the church, was I not a genuinely good person, did I not volunteer in the nursery, did I not prepare the Intro to Journey class meal?  Oh man this worked on me very hard.  He repeated this verse many times over the next few days.  I began to notice my sleeping at night situation... I was exhausted and I began to think back  over the past few nights... I had not slept since Sunday night.  I would toss and turn every night! And if you know me you know this chick can fall asleep as fast as a person with narcolepsy and then sleep through a tornado....

Rewind a couple of years....Over the past couple of years the thought of my salvation would cross my mind.  I would think "am I really saved?" and then I would answer myself "yes, Amber you are saved this is just the evil one trying to make you confused and doubt it."  I would always justify it because I was a good person and I loved going to church and hearing God's word.  I always done my lesson for the week, devotions in the mornings, I always prayed for my church, my family, my friends and myself, I did good deeds, etc.  I had always heard "once saved, always saved" ( just a little FYI-that my friends is called "easy believism"- say you know Jesus and then live like you want to and expect to go to heaven.) So I definitely had to be good in the salvation department. 

When I was around 8 or 9 we attended a church that my mom's family had been going to. It was small and just getting started.  A lot of my mom's family had been attending and changing their lives for the better.  It was a non-denominational church.  Worship was very welcomed there.  So at a young age I got to see that the raising of hands and worshipping God during the music was ok and much accepted.  One night the church got together and went to Heavens Gates and Hells Flames at Houston Road Baptist Church.  I remember one scene was a few teenagers/young adults getting drunk at a party and then getting in a vehicle to leave.  They were involved in a car crash and died.  When they "woke up" they were standing before God.  He had the Lambs Book of Life in his hands and was looking to see if their names were in His Book.  One by one he would look and shake his head "no".  They would scream in agony and ask Him to please look again.  He then cast them down to hell.  The next scene was them in hell.  It was so hot in there and it was very clouded with smoke.  The people were chained to the walls and screaming for someone to please let them out.  It was terrifying, especially to a 8-9 year old.  The last scene I remember was Heaven.  It was so beautiful and full of life and laughter.  We were all asked did we know where we were going and if we didn't we could go to a room down the hall and talk to someone.  I told Mama that I wanted to go to Heaven and not hell.  So we went into a room....my memory stops there.  I cannot remember the rest to save my life.  I obviously "prayed the prayer" or someone prayed for me because shortly after I was baptized.  I do not remember that experience but I can tell you that I changed into a red Coca Cola sweatshirt and we all went to eat at Walker's Dairy Bar after church.  Time went on and in the beginning of 1998 Highland Baptist was having a revival.  Bro. William Blackburn was the evangelist.  We started going and going and going.  The revival went on for a period of about 2-3 months.  EVERY NIGHT!  I was 14 and went mostly because Mama made us.  I can remember at the end of each service the same thing was repeated... if you don't want to go to hell then please say this prayer with me and walk down the isle.  If your palms are getting sweaty then it must be the holy spirit convicting you.  Ya know if you think about something long enough your mind can make you think it's happening or not happening.  My palms must have gotten a little sweaty bc one night I walked down.  I was taken into a room to be "counseled".  It looked much like a small cubical and I remember laughing and being immature....not because I had just been "saved"  happy but because I was being an immature teenager and what I was doing was "cool". I was then baptized again.  Life went on and high school was in full swing.  I was a pretty good kid.  I never talked back, I got a job when I was 14 and starting paying a car note when I turned 15, I made descent grades, good at sports, had many friends, involved in clubs and organizations at school, etc.  Senior year came and so did the partying.  I partied like a rock star off and on till my early 20's.  Probably around 23-24 I began to settle down.  My marriage had not been that great, bills piled up, failing out in college.....my life was a wreck.  My MIL invited us to Journey Church.  We finally decided to show up in June 2007.  We went off and on in the beginning and then began to kind of become a regular.  In the later part of 2007 I got involved in a women's group there.  I loved it.  I loved doing the lessons.  I was always shy in class and not really participate in the lesson because I honestly knew nothing about the Bible.  Josh and I joined Journey and then in late 2009 we began to slack off big time and eventually bailed.  We visited another church for a while but never really felt like it "fit" us. I told Josh that I really missed Journey and it's simplicity and could we start going back?  So we did and I jumped right back at where I left off.  Except there were so many more people there and our age group had exploded in numbers.  That made me very happy! 95% of them were either from the Myrick community or had graduated from NEJ.  I even got Josh to coming with me on Wednesday nights when he was in town.  Hearing Bro. Robby's sermons every week was the best ever. He can breakdown things and put them into words that I can understand.  He def has a gift!  I loved (and def still do) Journey Church.  Life was going good and I just thought every thing was spiffy.  Like I shared earlier, the question of my salvation would pop in my mind here and there.  Josh got saved in October 2011.. He shared his decision April 1, 2012.  I continued on as the God fearing lil Christian wife.. I thought.

I have told you all of this to tell you this... On March 24, 2013 @ 1:30 ( I will NEVER forget that number) in the morning I found myself on my couch, in a ball, alone and sobbing.  I prayed/cried out to God to save me.  At that very moment I had died to myself so that I could live.  I became a child of God.  I became his and he became mine.  I, for the first time in my life, knew what it meant to repent.  I knew what it meant to die to myself.  I knew what it felt like to be His. I discovered what true love was.  He loved and loves me no matter what.  I didn't have to get things "in order" before I accepted him as my saviour. I came to him broken, sorry and ashamed and I came out full of joy, thankful and filled with peace in my heart.  That Sunday morning at church I wanted to shout it to the roof tops about my decision but I had yet told Josh and I wanted him to know first.  However, I did snag up Bro. Robby to let him know that as of 1:30 that morning I finally had a story to tell.  That night at revival I just about skipped down the isle to let everyone know who my King was!  I am so eager to get baptized... I want all of this "junk" off of me and I want to come out of that water clean as a whistle.  For the first time I am so excited about Easter for what Easter really means not for just the cute new dress, dying of eggs and the fabulous lunch that comes after service.  Like my precious friend, Erica, said in her testimony the other night (not going to be word for word... but close) "the whole time I was doubting my salvation I thought it was the devil, but all in all it was always the devil that was telling me I was saved."  That was music to my hears and a punch in my gut.  She absolutely NAILED it.  I know life is not going to be lolly pops and gum drops just because I got saved... Life still goes on along with all of it's trials and temptations... I just now don't feel like I have to fight them alone and solve it all myself.  E3 is still going on and it will come to an end March 30th.  It starts at 6:30 and childcare is provided for birth-5 yrs old.  I would love to list all of the people that have made life changing decisions but I don't want to dare still their thunder :).

I am Amber Brooks and this was my story!..sorry about the length!

First Comes Love....

Second comes marriage and here comes the Brooks' without a baby carriage.  I have had the hardest time getting started on this blog.  I feel like I will offend someone or make someone feel like I was talking about their child. I might ;)... JK!  Any who.....I believe my last "baby" blog was about getting to the point where I could finally see some light at the end of the tunnel.  Well I believe I/we are feeling a bit blinded by the light because we are so close.  I do not want anyone to think that I all of a sudden hate children. That is the furtherest from the truth!! I absolutely love babies, toddlers, etc.  I like to spoil them and give them back.  I like to hold them for a bit and then give them back.  I like to teach them ugly things to say and give them back.  I like giving them back so that I can do what I want to do.  It took me a while to say this bc it sounds so selfish.  But honestly, I don't feel selfish at all.  See, January marked 3 years of trying for a baby and I have given it all I have mentally, emotionally and physically.  And by physically I am not just talking about the sex part.  I have been through many of procedures, I have drove like a maniac to Jackson in order to make it in under 2 hrs with a sample under my shirt (to keep it at room temp), I have peed on ovulation sticks every morning for 2 years straight... So no, it's not all lolli pops and gum drops on the physical part.  Emotionally- I have buried my face in a wet rag so that Josh wouldn't hear me during my bath and I would just scream, I would go on the 3rd floor of work and cry in the bathroom and then dry it up and walk down like everything was just lovely, I have been in the floor on my face in my tears praying to God to please allow us to conceive.
Mentally- I have thought that I was less of a woman at times, marital duties became just that... duties, I, at one point, was depressed.
At then end of last year I had just ran out of fuel. I was so tired and worn very thin.  I had been praying for a very long time to God that if it wasn't in his plan for us to have a child right now to just please take the desire away.  AND HE DID!  He is so faithful and always has a plan for our lives.  We just have to realize that and trust that.  OMG it was so hard to do that. I feel like I have won an olympic medal!!  I feel like a burden of 1million lbs has been lifted off of me.  The desire is gone and I feel like I can live again.  I never knew that wanting something to go away that I had become obsessed with getting for so long would feel so good.  But that is God for ya! 
I talk back and forth with a friend that is trying for a baby and has been for some time.  I text her the other night to check up on her.  She started describing the side effects she is having from the meds and that also it puts a strain on her marriage.  And folks let me tell ya... it does!! And it happens before you know it. One month turns into 7 months and "bedtime" has been just work and nothing more.  It really is sad.  My response to her was that there was no baby worth my marriage and my marriage was the most important thing to me.  And it is the truth! I love that guy with all of my heart!  "We" were here first and I am not going to let something like this bring our home, that we have worked so hard to make, down to the ground. 
I look back on this 3 year journey and think "my gosh!.. Thank you God for allowing us to go through this!".  It has made me new friends, become closer to God, my marriage rock solid, thankful for the life I have, comfortable in expressing myself, a love for Josh that I didn't even know existed and many others.  See Josh and I have been together for going on 15 years and we have been married for almost 8 of those years... We are pretty set in our ways.  We come and go as we please, we can watch tv and movies in silence, we can lay on the couch together and fall asleep if we please, we can eat in peace and quiet, we can go to bed when we want ( super early or super late), I can get up at 5 and go hog hunting with him if I want, we can have a  relaxing vacation, I can take Fred, the lil wiener, shopping with me in his stroller, I can blare the music in my car without having to worry about waking a baby, I can listen to the music I want in my car, We can watch adult tv... no yaba gaba mess, we pack for just the two of us for a trip, we can go on random camping trips.... in a tent!, we can buy big toys, we can sleep as late as we want, we can pee and dump in peace, and many other things.  Then I see this:

• Parents all stressed  out and sleep deprived
• Kids throwing a fit in a store.... like down in the floor screaming
• Snot running down their lip and spread from ear to ear... GROSS
• Puke on them and most of the time poop
• Parents sitting at a table in a restaurant not eating bc the kids want their food
• Parents having to leave a restaurant bc the kids want to act like wild things
• Parents barely getting a shower on a daily basis
• Parents sacrificing so much just so their kids can have the best
• Couples slipping apart bc the kids take up so much time
• ETC!

In saying all of that, if having a baby isn't in our future then we will be A OK.  We have always and will always have each other.  And that to me that is something  a lot of couples cannot say.  I believe that a lot of couples either get married or stay married bc of the kids.  A married couple that stays married just because of the kids is not healthy at all.  A dating couple taht gets married just because they got pregnant is not healthy at all. You have to like the person, you have to be the best of friends, you have to realize that one day those kids will be grown and out of the house and it will only be the two of you left.  If you have not taken the time to get to know one another and become best friends then your marriage is pretty useless.... you're def missing out. 
I feel like I am in such a great place. I have started working out and trying to get back in shape.  Taking clomid and just being depressed will help you out in the weight gaining dept. I had gained about 10-15lbs.  I have so far lost about 4-6 of those lbs.   I love my life and am happy for the journey that I have been on... hope I havent' offended anyone ;)!

The Notebooks

I am not very big on Valentine's Day.  I just feel like it is just something that is blown up to be way more than what is should be.  I think it is sad that some people only get shown love on one day out of the year.  I am very proud to say that my husband shows me love and affection everyday!! Any who.... I really thought I knew what I was getting but turns out I was wrong.  I wanted some rocking chairs but he could not find the one that I wanted.  I came home from work to find a card and two spiral notebooks on the table.  One was pink and one was black and each had a pen with them.  Inside mine was a letter.  It explained that each day we would write something positive about the other in the notebook.  He said that it had to be positive and nothing negative.  We will exchange our notebooks every weekend so that we can see what the other has wrote.  This weekend will be our first time to exchange our notebooks.  I cannot wait to see what he has wrote.  And I def cannot wait for him to read what I have written.  I just loved this idea! I think it is def healthy to continue to praise one another and make sure the other one understands just how they important they are in the marriage.  I love him so much and could not have thought of a more perfect gift.  So to all you ladies that just threw your dead flowers in trash.... I will still be enjoying my gift for many weeks ;)



Looci Jean Cochran Brooks

On February 11, 2013 I said goodbye to my first child, Looci.  I got her the 4th week of December (cant remember the actual date) of 2000.  She was my early Christmas present.  She was the cutest darn thing ever! I had went over to a friend's house to study and when I came home there she was waiting on me with a bow.  My sweet Mama had went and got her from a breeder in Smith County.  Her blood line was that of champions.  I was not sure what to name her so I waited a couple of days to see what her personality was.  She was so funny and just plain goofy! So, I decided to name her Looci after I Love Lucy.  Mama told me after I named her that the breeder had actually named her Lucy bc of her funny personality.  I immediately fell in love with her along with everyone else in the house.  I was of course a teenager at the time and wanted to go and do so she spent a lot of time with my parents.  Mom potty trained her within like 3 days and she knew she could get anything from my daddy.  Even though I was her "main owner" and Mom took up a lot of time with her she LOVED my dad, her Papaw.  I mean she loved him and he loved her! And if you know my dad he dont share much love.  She was such a bossy flossy!! I mean she demanded things and you couldn't help but just do them.  She had these big brown eyes and everytime she would look at you it was like she was looking into your soul.  And that my friends is how she got anything she wanted.  If you wanted to make her day just say "Looci, you wanna ride?".  She would just about knock you down to get out of the door.  She loved to take naps and sleep in the bed with us at night.  Her routine was to get under the covers, go all the way to the bottom of the bed, turn around and lay about mid ways up your body.  She would then get hot after an hour or so and get on top of the covers.  She was down for a nap anytime!  She was my girl and my sassy lil side kick.  These stories that I am fixing to list are probably not funny to anyone but those who really knew her and wittnessed them but here it goes:

• Before her ears got docked she got her head stuck in a glass gallon pickle jar. 
• She ate a bar of rat poison and we had to give her a tablespoon of salt which equaled in puking everywhere!
• I sprayed my wheels with tire foam and washed it off with a hose.  She began drinking the water and became what looked like she was drunk. 
• She always chased the neighbors chickens and a few times she got lucky and caught one :/
• She went to go chase Daddy's goats one time and didn't know about that electric fence. Well, they immediately got introduced. 
• She would run away for hours upon hours!!! Refused to return when called.
• She would not come back to you while outside.  We would bribe her with ham, treats, milk, anything! It never worked. She would get in reaching distance of you and then dart off.
• She loved to look in the window of cars.... and that would result in scratching the side of some poor visitors car. 
• She drug my dad across the yard one time because she saw a rabbit in the yard. 
• She got sprayed in the face by a skunk and had to spend 2 nights outside. 
• She chewed the laundry room door in half bc she had separation anxiety. 
• We sprayed a type of spray that was suppose to keep them from chewing things.. she was of course allergic to it and her face became swollen. 
• She hated the crate!! But she wouldn't be a good girl if left out.  She could tear out of it in a heart beat. 
• She would chase bikers down the road. Wouldn't listen to "stop!" to save her life!
• We had to nurse a little goat back to health one time and it would always want to nurse her and it would freak her out. LMBO!!
• Chewing or destroying things that belonged to whoever she was ticked at at the time. 
• Josh had a pig that got out of his pen... she commensed to chase the thing into the woods... came out with her eyes swollen shut. Yet, another allergic reaction to something. 

My list could probably go on for a while but those are the good ones!  I loved her so much! She had gotten so sick towards the end.  In that last week she began vomitting a lot.  Monday when I left I had already cleaned up about 5 piles.  Josh and I were texting back and forth about her and how it was definitely getting time to make a decision and not be selfish about it.  About 15 minutes I got the text "we need to go now".  She had lost control of her front legs and Josh had found her head down in a corner.  He laid her on her bed till I got there.  When I walked in I went straight to her. Her eyes were black, no life in them.  She wouldn't wag her "nub" when I would talk to her.  Her breathing was so fast and her tongue was hanging out.  I felt completely helpless and I knew what I had to do. She would not have made it through the day had we not went on.  Dr. Kent Holifield (best vet ever!) came out to my truck and went ahead with the procedure with her in my lap.  I rubbed her face and whispered in her ear that I loved her.  I told her she was her Papaws girl and that her Mamaw loved her too.  And just like that she was gone.  ON the way home, through tears, Josh and I would laugh telling stories about her.  It kept my mind at ease.  I burried her between my blueberry bushes in the front yard.  I can look out my kitchen window and see her.  And that is perfect!! I know she is catching lizards and rats at Raindbow Bridge right now!

Love you LOO LOO! The house is definitely not the same.